Cozy, Queer & Cooking

A subgenre of BL/GL that I have been obsessed with has to be the cozy cooking show. In a landscape of romantic dramas filled with passion, miscommunications, and all sorts of drama shenanigans (shows that I also love), there is a special place in my heart for the shows that just feel like a warm cup of tea. These shows are comforting, filled with inspiration for good food, and of course queer. Using the cozy settings of kitchens to tell us a love story. I have picked three shows which fit under the ‘cozy, cooking and queer’ category, and hopefully you will like these just as much as me. 

‘What Did You Eat Yesterday?’ (2019, 2023) 

The story follows the daily life of 45-year-old Keiko Shiro and his partner Yabuki Kenji. Shiro is in charge of the food budget as well as cooking, a task he takes very seriously. If you have ever grocery shopped on a budget, you will certainly see yourself in the way Shiro gets incredibly excited when there is a sale at the grocery store. 

Whilst this is undoubtedly cozy, cooking and queer, do not mistake it for a show without depth. The show uses its premise of cooking, to show us the everyday life of an established gay couple, including the different challenges they face in modern day Japan. 

Spoilers from here on! 

This includes the question of coming out at work. Is it better to hide your partner, or take the risk which could open the door to all sorts of discrimination? This is not a decision made lightly, Shiro grappling with said decision for all of season one and it continues on in season two. Shiro’s experience as a closeted man at work is contrasted by his partner Kenji, who is a hairdresser who is openly out at work, correcting clients if they assume he is straight. This leads to conflict in the relationship, when Shiro meets one of Kenji’s clients, Shiro unhappy that this stranger knew his sexuality. In the argument Kenji simply saying this:

“Our manager brings up his wife and kids with the customers all the time. Why am I the only one not allowed to talk about my family?” (episode 1)

The argument ends with Shiro simply starting to cook for them both, Kenji being comforted in the small ways that Shiro thinks of him - such as Shiro making a garlic dish because he knows Kenji is off tomorrow and can’t eat garlic if he was going to work. Arguments can’t always be solved in the moment, the big stuff takes time to fall into place. But watching these two both having their ups and downs, I never feared their relationship ending. 

Another thing the show adds both with humor and care, is the relationship between Shiro and his parents. His love of cooking coming from his mom, and whilst he is out to his family he doesn’t seem very comfortable with that fact. Brushing off his mom in episode 1 when she is encouraging him to come out at work. Or trying to avoid his parents meeting Kenji, which his parents pushes back against in episode 11:

Mom: “For g-g-good heavens! You are practically married! Introducing your partner to you family is common sense!”

Shiro: “It is not really the same as the marriage you guys imagine. It’s not set in stone in that sense.”

Dad: “Shiro. Are you half-assing your homosexual lifestyle?!” (this does make me laugh every time)

In episode 12 of the first season Kenji is introduced to Shiro’s parents and the episode is heartwarming all around. Kenji is incredibly nervous (and who wouldn’t be?), but Shiro’s parents accept him. There is a beautiful scene where Kenji and Shiro’s dad are talking and looking at photos of young Shiro, and Shiro’s dad talks about how diligent of a student he was. Kenji then speculates that perhaps even then Shiro knew he was gay, and tried his best to become a lawyer so his parents would have something to be proud of, as he wouldn’t be able to give them grandchildren. 

Kenji: “That was his idea of being a good son.”

Shiro’s dad: “He did always look like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.”

The relationship between Kenji, Shiro and Shiro’s parents aren’t perfect, and they go through some ups and downs in the second season, which is also explored in a great manner as Shiro’s parents are making plans for when they pass. Despite not always having understood Kenji, they want him to share the family tomb, as well as leave him part of the inheritance. 

In my opinion one of the most poignant moments of the show is at the end of season two (episode 12) where Shiro talks to Kenji about what will happen after he dies. Shiro wants to make sure that what he leaves behind goes to Kenji, and that Kenji will be informed properly. Shiro is not a romantic person, he doesn’t propose and gets down on one knee, instead he is practical, but there is deep care behind every word. 

Shiro suggests that he adopts Kenji, so that they are legally tied, so his inheritance will go to Kenji. This is a great glimpse as to the kind of person Shiro is, practical and caring, though not always great at expressing it.

Kenji refuses, as he hopes one day they will be able to get married, and he does not want to give that future up.

At this point they’re crying and I’m crying, and it is all so tragic, beautiful and hopeful. This show is exactly all of that. 

I think when it comes to romance shows, we can fall head of heels for the ‘falling in love' part, not the ‘staying in love’ part. Whilst there is very little physical intimacy on screen, it is not needed to show just how close these two people are and how much they love each other.

(And just look at how delicious the food looks:)

‘Our Dining Table’ (2023)

Yutaka who is a salaryman who struggles to eat with people, then he meets Minoru and Tane (two brothers with a wide age difference), who asks him to help them cook. It is a simple premise for a show that holds so much heart. The second we were introduced to Tane, the sweetest little kid, I was immediately hooked. Once more we will get a sweet story as well as plenty of delicious recipes. 

Spoilers from here on out!

Yutaka is a man who has experienced his fair share of rejection from his family, this has made it difficult for him to be able to eat among other people. Nothing breaks through carefully upheld walls as easily as a kid who is unable to see them. Tane is the cause of Minoru and Yutaka meeting, and him being there pushes Minoru and Yutaka closer. Whilst Tane is the driving force in the beginning it is clear that Minoru and Yutaka develop mutual crushes. 

What all the shows highlight is how food can be a tool for community and building relationships, and not only romantic relationships. Such as in episode 3 where Yutaka asks help from a co-worker on how to make a bento box.

Yutaka: “If it’s not too much of a bother…”

Ohata: “It’s not a bother, but…”

Yutaka: “It’s like it came out of nowhere, right? I’m sorry. It’s totally okay.”

Ohata: “It’s not like that. It’s just that it’s the first time that you asked for help. Of course I’ll help you.”

Something as small as making a lunch box, can be a tool to reaching out. Food was also the area where Yutaka was rejected in his childhood, his older brother saying that the food tastes bad when he is there (episode 4), it’s a trauma which has deeply impacted him, and we see him slowly work through it during the show. 

Yutaka’s appearance in Tane and Minoru’s life is also impactful, as he is kind and understanding about the situation. Minoru having put his studies on hold after their mom died to work and help Tane. Minoru loves his family, so when an old classmate refers to Tane as a burden (episode 5) it clearly upsets him. But that discomfort dissipates when he sees Yutaka not only tolerate Tane but care for him.

‘Our Dining Table’ is a quiet and gentle show, where you can watch two lost people slowly begin to find themselves and bring joy to each other's life. (And of course Tane is a very cute addition)

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat (2022, 2024)

This might be my favorite show of all time, only rivaling ‘Not Me’ (2021) for that title. For that reason I will save my analysis of this show for another time so I can give both seasons a full deep dive. So for now I will give you only my recommendation: 

The show is about Nomoto who loves cooking, but being a single person household she never gets to make huge portions of food, as she wouldn’t be able to eat it all. She then meets her neighbor Kasuga who also lives alone and loves to eat. On a whim Nomoto invites Kasuga over so she has a chance to cook for her. From here on out the two make it a habit to eat together, as they start to grow closer. 

‘She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat’ is such a fantastic show for multiple reasons, one of those being that there are only female characters. This might seem like such a small detail, but in a media landscape that centers men, it is just so refreshing to look at a show that not ignores men, but simply does without (except for phone calls with Kasuga’s dad, and one co-worker where Nomoto works). We get to see fantastic friendships between all type of different women, especially in season two. We see Nomoto struggles with her sexuality, because she can’t recognize herself in the dramatic lesbian movies she watches, and have honest conversations about that with her friend, an asexual lesbian. This is just to show what new perspectives this show can bring. I highly, highly recommend it. 

I hope that reading my recommendations and analysis, that I’ve either inspired you to watch one of these shows, or given some different thoughts about them. It is definitely a favorite subgenre of mine and I hope that there will be many more cozy, queer, cooking shows!